Monopolized Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 I am so very frustrated. I met this girl three years ago. I'm not sure if I've told you all this story before but...either way...here it goes: As I said, I met this girl three years ago. At the time, I was seeing someone whom I had been with for two years prior. However, we were HAVING a tough time and, well, I had pretty much given up on her and she knew it. HAVING said that, I went about my business and met new friends. During which time, I met a girl named Tara. She kinda had the hots for me and, well, I didn't really want it to go past a friendship. Well, she showed up one day to chum with everyone and had a friend with her. FROM the moment I met this girl, I knew I had to have her. I don't know why or how, I just know it was there. Obviously, I flirted with her and, well, she didn't like that too much. She was very conserved. I accepted this yet I began to see more and more of her - more on her part than mine, actually. Over time, we became good friends and, eventually, she became the first person I saw in the mornings and the last person I saw at night - vice versa. Needless to say, I had grown very fond of her and she made me feel like she was the only person on this planet. And, throughout the whole time, Laura (my ex) was doing everything in her power to hurt me emotionally seeing as how I was moving on and doing my own thing. She couldn't accept this. Eventually, this new found glory was the center of it all. I got put INTO a "pick one and leave one" situation. Of course, I chose this new girl. However, you know how it is when you spend years of your life with a person - there's always going to be an emotional attachment. Either way, I shrugged Laura aside by Shere's request and this only added fuel to the fire. Eventually, I was left with no one. Now, three years later I decided I couldn't stand it any longer. I swore to the high heavens I'd let it be and move on. I swore I'd let things go - it was the past. However, during all this time I haven't stopped thinking about her. Every time I find a potential girlfriend, I compare her. So, I decided I'd search for her. After three months of hardly any sleep and complete exhaustion, I found her. She was actually happy to hear FROM me. Now, she knows I want a relationship with her but she won't hear of it. Throughout the three years of seperation, I'd occasionally hang out where we used to hang out in hopes I'd see her there. However, she hadn't been heard of for three years. Therefore, I knew she'd probably never come back INTO that place again. Suddenly, I receive a hello. I look over and there she is...in our old hang out after "declaring" my love for her. Practically embarassed, the conversation didn't go too smoothly. However, it certainly could've been worse. I was so very confused. I went to our mutual friend Tara for advice (who still has the hots for me for some reason). "She has feelings for you. She'll always have feelings for you", she said "but she doesn't want to have feelings for you. She's conflicted." Grant you, I've known this all along. However, I was looking for that sort of confirmation - that thing in which lets me know I'm not overreacting, overanalyzing, building things up in my mind in which aren't true. I have absolutely no idea of what to do. Here's a girl that I love so very dearly, someone who has enhanced my life to the fullest. Furthermore, she's the only person who ever surprised me with something romantic, something unique and original yet absolutely brilliant - the only one. Who, after nearly four years, still loves me and knows for sure I still love her but she's won't hear of it. I'll never find anyone even remotely like her. I just don't know what to do, that's all. Oh well, I suppose. I mean, what really can I do? I hate to give up but I see no other choice. Grant you, I'm being persistant yet patient as I owe that much to her. However, it's driving me bonkers. I'm just going to get some rest, I suppose, and hope tomorrow brings some light on the subject. Which, actually, I doubt but there's always hope. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 That story sounds vaguely familiar. I think you've posted about it before. What brought this little reminder up anyway? style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted May 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 I thought I had mentioned it before as well. However, I wasn't quite sure. She e-mailed me a couple days ago because I was picking on her about her website. Everytime I talk to her, it just urkes me because I know it's so right. Yet I'm forced to look another direction. Meanwhile, I feel guilty about it...especially knowing it's difficult for me to give myself to anyone. So, in other words, there have only been about two people whom I've really had feelings for and she's the "ultimate". Therefore, I'm screwed. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weredragonling Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 aw, that's touching. but i wouldn't know.... weredragonling sniffs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Admin grabs Monopolized and gives her to someone style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Does that make it any easier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted May 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 For pleasure purposes only - assuming they're disease-free, of course. *grin* ...I'm just too logical for my own good. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Ok Spock. style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted May 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 lol Well, it's like I tell people when they question me about not ever dating - "I've been in love once. I know what it is and I'll accept nothing less." Having said that, my only option, it seems, it to have a "buddy". And, well, that's not really my thing for several upon several reasons. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Admin taints Monopolized's popcorn What's the latest with Sarah? style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted May 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Well, she quit working for the company seeing as how they screwed her over. Either way, she hates that place. She was only working so she go to France on a trip with her class for French class. She had already saved up as much as she needed. So... We talk every now and again but I don't really have time to spend with her. Besides, I'm trying to save back some money for my vacation time. I have a lot planned and some things planned before-hand. So, I don't really need to spend any more than I have to. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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