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You might be a redneck if....


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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

6. Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

7. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

10. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

11. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

12. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

13. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

14. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

15. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

16. You have a rag for a gas cap.

17. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

18. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

19. Your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.

20. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

21. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

22. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

23. You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

24. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.

25. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

26. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.

27. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

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