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You know you're getting old when...


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You know you're getting old when...


- You start complaining that "They're building car seats too low!"


- Your ears perk up when a laxative commercial comes on TV.


- You call the place you keep leftovers the "icebox."


- You start videotaping daytime game shows.


- You spend more time on the menu than the waitress.


- You know "where it's at", but forgot why it's there.


- You know how to spell gastroenterologist.


- You don't have any enemies because you've outlived them all.


- You don't date women your own age, because there aren't any.


- "Happy Hour" now consists of a nap.


- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.


- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.


- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.


- You look forward to a dull evening.


- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.


- Your back goes out more than you do.


- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.


- Someone just told you that Old MacDonald sold his farm in 1942.

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