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You know you're getting old when...


Wolfie

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You know you're getting old when...

 

- You start complaining that "They're building car seats too low!"

 

- Your ears perk up when a laxative commercial comes on TV.

 

- You call the place you keep leftovers the "icebox."

 

- You start videotaping daytime game shows.

 

- You spend more time on the menu than the waitress.

 

- You know "where it's at", but forgot why it's there.

 

- You know how to spell gastroenterologist.

 

- You don't have any enemies because you've outlived them all.

 

- You don't date women your own age, because there aren't any.

 

- "Happy Hour" now consists of a nap.

 

- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

 

- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.

 

- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

 

- You look forward to a dull evening.

 

- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

 

- Your back goes out more than you do.

 

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

 

- Someone just told you that Old MacDonald sold his farm in 1942.

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