BONES Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 Cheese is right. You CANT help who you love. End of discussion. You know what, Conflicted, fyi gays arent going to disappear and leave. They are not going to stop just for YOUR sake. Right On!!!! Gays/Lesbians are here to stay so tough luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conflicted Posted October 10, 2005 Report Share Posted October 10, 2005 When did I ever say I wanted them gone? I know you can't change who you love and I also know God forgives those who ask to be forgiven.. But you cannot deny that in the Bible it says not to lay with the same sex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONES Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Things to do with your bull crap bible: Take everything in the book literally except the stuff that you can't answer. When brought to your attention immediately ignore and refer something in the book that you can answer. Claim it is the real meaning. Confuse fundies by quoting passages in support of atheism (oh come on, there's a Scriptural justification for everything). Guidebook for life of servitude to imaginary beings. Peek into the mind of God, and life of Christ. Then read Green Eggs and Ham to understand Sam I Am “Moral and Ethical Instruction for Dummies”. Next to “Windows For Dummies”. Use to start an argument with anyone Learn all about incest Gain insight into the perfectly sane and normal ego of the One High Loving Jealous Peaceful Warlike Meek Mighty Forgiving Tolerating Unbiased Except Towards Israelites His Chosen People Power That is Our God. (amen). Excellent source of useless trivia. Did I say 'useless trivia'? I meant divine inspiration, really. An easy means to provoke people into irrational acts by merely saying it would be good as T.P. Well, certain versions of it with that nice tissue-like paper, anyway. Rip a page out of one and see how wild people get. Use as a means of justifying any dumb old statement secure in the knowledge that the book's generally too boring to be read by anyone who is following, and "followers" should not disagree with "leaders" in any way. Delivers enlightenment... oh, wait, several people have already said to use it to start fires. Literal acting Use a bible to claim your argument is more important (or sacred or divine) than other people's arguments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeautifulDisaster Posted October 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conflicted Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 dream19 maybe you just spoke with the wrong person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONES Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 nice one! why thank you Heres a few more: Bibles At The Office At the office, glue your portable music gadget to it and nobody will carry it off. Use as an example of indexing documentation that you want followed to the last naming convention to make all your engineers/programmers quit so you don't have to lay them off and pay benefits. Take to work and hug it and rock gently while at meetings until they stop making you come Put under water cooler to collect spills Use to mash unidentifiable and ancient contents in office fridge/freezer back to make room for your food. Put under your lunch in the fridge for same reason as lining the microwave. Put under insulated coffee carafe which always has some spills. Computer Tower Heightener Packing Material Paperweight Tear out those useless pages of crap and play paper basketball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conflicted Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONES Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Bibles In Aerospace .Use for BASH (Bird Air Strike Hazard) aircraft collision tests to save frozen chickens.2.Use as a floatation device in the unlikely event they ditch the plane in the water; as if there won't be enough dead bodies to use as flotation devices....3.Hide valuables in a latching copy in your luggage so baggage handlers (the ones from the old 'Samsonite' commercials) don't steal your stuff.4.Get jacked up at the airport on that business trip you didn't want to go on by hiding "valuables" in a bible so it looks like a "bomb" (i.e. throw in some quarter rolls and a necklace and a spare battery). Have an anti-abortion pamphlet or two in the bag with it to ensure you thoroughly miss the flight.5.Use a Koran (Q'ran?) instead of a bible to get a fireworks show and a spot on the evening news, too.6.Tie to the end of a banner for airplane advertisements as a weight.7.Use as blimp ballast.8.Paste onto space shuttle tiles so they don't get dirty.9.Gather up all the bibles in the world and launch them into space to use as a counterweight for a space elevator.10.Use to FOD out a jet engine. (FOD: Foreign Object Damage)11.Use to FOD out other types of turbines.12.Use to illustrate aerodynamic properties of bricks.13.Grind up finely and use as wind tunnel smoke.14.Use as back support on uncomfortable airline seat.15.If you "look Moslem", carry it to reassure dim people on the airplane you're a Christian, and NOT a terrorist.16.Something to bridge the gap between tray tables and make a larger working surface.17.Use cardboard cover, pages and resin to patch holes in antique aircraft.18.When piloting a private aircraft, use it to wedge the controls as a cheap autopilot and take a nap.19.Something to pry the cover to the “honey plug” at the back of the airplane.20.Wheel chocks to keep airplanes from rolling around the air strip when the wind blows.21.Something to keep your bag weighted while doing a “FOD Walk”22.Use as airport runway markers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conflicted Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 someone has a little to much time on her hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONES Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 you would know about too much time on your hands..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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