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i'm sick of this...


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i think this is the right forum for this, so i'll explain the title. i'm not sick of the forums, i'm sick of what i used to be...




recently, i started being all fake when i began 8th grade. i wanted to hang w/ the popular ppl and i wanted everyone to know me in a good way. i didn't want ppl knowing me by embarrassing myself and stuff like that. so i started shopping at abercrombie, aeropostale, hollister, american eagle, etc. JUST so i'd look like a prep. yeah. then i started bein all stuck up and stuff. i didn't realize til later that i was being a stupid bitch. :no:




but i finally realized a month or two ago that i really should be me. i wasn't and never will be one of those seemingly perfect preps and i don't think i want to be. i still wear the preppy clothes, but i found out that i really do like those clothes. i even thought about wearing stuff from hot topic. why? bc i actually like it. i'm not doing it to fit in anymore, and i think that's what some ppl might not understand, bc a lot of ppl shop at the "prep stores" just to fit in and bc of peer pressure. for me, it's neither of those anymore.... and that's an improvement for me.




i've even changed my tastes in music. back when i first started 8th grade, i was into everything that was hot. you know... kanye west, kelly clarkson, black eyed peas, the one-hit wonders, etc. i mean, i still like that music, but i enjoy 70s/80s/90s rock more now. ac/dc, guns n roses, van halen, ozzy osbourne, kiss, etc. is what i'm talking about. i mean, what girl says her favorite band is ac/dc or ozzy anymore? yeah i know a few. but think of how many girls say kelly clarkson or jesse mccartney "cuz he's hot". wtf? i think that's a bunch of bs...




but the one thing that i can't seem to change about myself is worrying about what ppl think. i'm so terrified of ppl thinking i'm a nerd or that i'm an idiot, and i'm sick of it. but i can't seem to change it no matter how hard i try, and i don't know how to grow out of it. =\




but i like the new me better than the old me, and i plan to be this way for a while (except for the whole worrying-about-what-ppl-think issue)

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