Jump to content

No Respect!

The Joker

Recommended Posts

All these years, and Rodney Dangerfield still cant win.


"My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she only liked me as a friend."


"A girl phoned me the other day and said,'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."


"We were poor.... Why if I wasn't born a boy...I'd have nothing to play with."


"When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up."


"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."


"When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father,'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through.' "


"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."


"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."


"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."


"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."


"I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get."


(This is my fovorite.)"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face...turned me over and said, 'Look...twins!' "


"I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest."


"When I was a kid , I was so short I had to blow my nose through my fly."


"It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put on a shirt and a button came off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."


Well, here are more things from the "Bathroom Reader" ENJOY!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use