The Joker Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 All these years, and Rodney Dangerfield still cant win. "My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she only liked me as a friend." "A girl phoned me the other day and said,'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home." "We were poor.... Why if I wasn't born a boy...I'd have nothing to play with." "When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up." "I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio." "When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father,'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through.' " "My mother had morning sickness after I was born." "My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet." "I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof." "My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." "I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get." (This is my fovorite.)"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face...turned me over and said, 'Look...twins!' " "I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest." "When I was a kid , I was so short I had to blow my nose through my fly." "It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put on a shirt and a button came off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom." Well, here are more things from the "Bathroom Reader" ENJOY!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 R.I.P, Rodney Dangerfieldb. November 22, 1921d. October 5, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 I didn't know he died..I don't really catch up on the news much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 George Burns, Johnny Carson, Christopher Reeve, Marlon Brando.. All.. Buh bye.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockoncheese101 Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 =( Still funny quotes tho =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 Well, I'm glad you like them Alicia!! =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 Never said they weren't funny. Just showing my respects for a very funny man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 (edited) Um.. well I think I still have one of those animated movies he once was in...The one with the dog??? Edited June 3, 2005 by AngieWolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Rover Dangerfield (1991) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2005 Ah! I thought so!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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