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Stewie was staying with his grandparents, Brian went to pick him up and they lost their plane tickets so they had to travel back on ground, staying in hotels/motels.


Staying one night in a motel, Brian is dead asleep, drunk, and Stewie is trying to get to sleep but there is a drug deal going on in the next room.


Drug Buyer: You got the stuff?

Drug Dealer: Yeah I got it, where's the money, huh? I wanna see the money.

Drug Buyer: No, no, no, you don't see the money 'till I see the stuff.

Stewie Griffin: (gets frustrated) Oh, for God's sake, there's only one way to put an end to this nuisance.

Stewie Griffin: (yelling) HE'S WEARING A WIRE!

Drug Dealer: What? You son of a... (fires gunshots and you hear the buyer dropping to the ground dead)


Stewie is just pure evil.



There's another scene where it shows Superman playing a card game in hell... Appearently he killed a hooker for making some insulting reference to his being "faster than a speeding bullet".

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Peter: How'd you find out I was dying?

Death: It got e-mailed to me by your HMO.

Peter: Woah, woah just cause my doctor's a jerk doesn't mean you have to call him names.




This is in a bar..


God: Here, let me light that for you, babe.

(Zap with Thunderbolt to the cigarette)

Girl: Hey, thanks!

God: Yep, magic fingers (chuckles).

(Zap with Thunderbolt to the girl incinerating her.)

God: Jesus Christ!

Jesus: What?

God: Get the Escalade! We're outta here!




Chris: Hey little dude, how about some ice cream?

Stewie: Yes I could go for a frozen treat right about now. But no sprinkles. And for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.




Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?

Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?




Peter: (Walks out of the bathroom and wanders into another room. He walks into the room and walks behind the bed. We find out that this is Chris' room.) Hey, you still awake, Lois honey? (Peter lays down into Chris' bed.)

Chris: Dad?

Peter: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big soft boobs...running down your big man-like chest. (Peter jumps up.) Holy crap, It's Chris!! Uhh...Uhh...So, uhh...How ya doin'? You do all your homework?

Chris: (nods his head.)

Peter: Finish all your subjects?

Chris: Yes, sir.

Peter: Good, just uhh, just checkin'. (Backs towards the door.) Have a good night son. (Walks down the hall.)

Peter: You still awake honey?

Stewie: What the deuce?



(Stewie covering up the dead body of Mr. Lockhart by hiding in his blood-covered suit as a police officer drives up)

Officer: "Everything alright here?"

Stewie: "Oh fine officer, just enjoying the sunset. No law against that, is there?"

Officer: "What happened to your shirt?"

Stewie: "Oh you know, just a pizza party at the office."

Officer: "Oh yeah, where do you work?"

Stewie: "First Fidelity Insurance over on Wayne Bossert Street."

Officer: "Oh my cousin Arnie works over there."

Stewie: "Oh Arnie's your cousin is he?"

Officer: "You know him?"

Stewie: "Oh somewhat, good middle management type. Jjust sort of blends in with the furniture, though, never really wowed anyone at the office."

Officer: "Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy."

Stewie: "Yes yes, you too. Oh and if you see Arnie, tell him 'boogity boogity boo.' He'll know what it means."



Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.



Robber: I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend and then I'm gonna kill Chris Griffin!

Stewie: Good lord! Can he really say "bang my girlfriend" on TV?



Stewie: Hello, mother.

Lois: Why, hello Stewie!

Stewie: Mother, life is like a box of chocolates--you never know what your gonna get. But your life is like a box of active granades!

Lois: Aww, you just want your toy back.

Stewie: Victory is mine! (Granades explode.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH damn you all!


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  • 1 month later...

Ha ha no.


That's the episode where Peter is being sexually harassing and has to attend a sensitivity camp for a couple of weeks. (You are talking about where Peter tries to breast feed Stewie, right?)

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

from the episode 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

Stewie falls for his baby sitter and is jealous so he beats up her b/f and sticks him in Brian's car and forgets about him. At the end of the episode Stewie says:



Stewie: Oh damn! Jeremy is still in the trunk! How long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited by dream19
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