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1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)


2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?


4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!


5. Are You Andy or Barney?


6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.


7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?


8. I pay your salary!


9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!


10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.


11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.


12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating


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Man, that reminds me of something that happened here not too long ago. There was this guy going a bit too fast, so my friend's dad, who happens to be a cop, went after him. The guy went down this two-mile or so straight stretch of highway. When he got to the corner, he did a 360 in his car and stopped. The cop got out of his car and walked to the other car. I swear to you, the guy saw the cop, held up the can in his head, said, "I didn't spill my beer!" and passed out.
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