Perceptions on Milk

[Mephisto]

Sorry, was supposed to go in lists.

 

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

 

Optimist:

The glass is half full.

 

Pessimist:

The glass is half empty.

 

Futurist:

The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

 

Pascal programmers:

Well, what type of milk is it?

 

C Programmers:

No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

 

Assembly programmers:

No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

 

Basic programmers:

No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

 

MIS:

I'll drink it if you can give me until next year.

 

Fuzzy logic guys:

I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

 

Prolog programmers:

I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

 

Non-procedural language programmers:

I drank it when nobody was looking.

 

UI designers:

What's that crap in my glass?

 

Pentium users:

I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

 

Windows users:

Where's my straw?

 

Mac users:

Where's my pump?

 

UNIX users:

Nahh . . . too easy.

 

Multimedia author:

[slurp!]

 

Shareware game author:

That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

 

Security consultant:

Where'd the rest of the milk go?

 

CIA:

What makes you think that's milk?

 

NSA:

We know what it really is.

 

Copy protection crazies:

Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

 

Free Software Foundation:

That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

 

Schroedinger:

That damned cat got into the milk again!

 

Bill Gates:

Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

 

Apple Computer:

You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

 

IBM:

Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.

 

IRS:

Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.

 

National news media:

Hey, we wanted OJ!

Edited February 15, 2006 by Mephisto