Mephisto Posted January 22, 2005 Report Share Posted January 22, 2005 What if people bought cars like they buyComputers? The car companies don't have help linesfor people who don't know how to drive,because people don't buy cars like theybuy computers, imagine if they did..... Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I helpyou? Customer: I got in my car and closed the door andnothing happened! Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slotand turn it? Customer: What's an ignition? Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws currentfrom your battery and turns over the engine. Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? Howcome I have to know all these technical terms touse my car. Helpline: Toyota Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now itwon't go anywhere! Helpline: Is the gas tank empty? Customer: Huh? How do I know?" Helpline: There's a little gauge on the frontpanel with a needle and markings of 'E' and 'F'.Where is the needle pointing? Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does thatmean? Helpline: It means you have to visit a gasolinevendor and purchase some more gasoline. You caninstall it yourself or pay the vendor to installit for you. Customer: What? I paid $18,000 for this car!And your telling me I to keep buying morecomponents? This is outrageous! I want a car thatcomes with everything built in! Helpline: Ford Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Your cars suck! Helpline: What's wrong?" Customer: It crashed, that's what's wrong! Helpline: What were you doing? Customer: Well I wanted to go faster, so I pushedthe accelerator pedal all the way to the floor, Itworked for a while and then it when off the roadat a corner and crashed and it won't start now! Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misusethe product. What do you expect us to do about it? Customer: I expect you to send me one of thelatest versions that doesn't crash! Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and Ichose your car because it has automatictransmission, cruise control, power steering,power brakes, power door locks, power seats,power.." Helpline: Well,.. thanks for buying one of ourtop of line cars. So how can I help you? Customer: Well, how do I work it? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Do I know how to what? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Look, I'm not a mechanic. I'm not evenvery technical. I just want to go places in mynew car! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts