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Funny intructions

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On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)


On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)


On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)


On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)


On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)


On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)


On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)


On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)


On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)


On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)


On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)


On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

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Stuff I found like that:


On Sharpie Permanent Marker Packs Warning: Marks Made On Objects Other Than Skin Will Never Come Off (well i wonder why they called it permanent marker!!!)



On a fishing hook box, it read: May be harmfull if swallowed.(Oh!!!...what am i going to use for floss now!!!)


Seen on a bag of kitty litter: Safe for use around pets. (...I'm not even gonna say anything...)



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