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The following is slightly inappropriate so read at your own risk! (If you are easily offended or are at an age where you should not read inappropriate material, then you are asked to not read any further.)



Money's Short, Times Are Hard


Here's Your Friggin Christmas Card!




T’was the night before Christmas


And all through the house


Everybody felt crappy


Even the mouse




Mom at the whorehouse


And dad smoking grass


Had just settled down


For a nice piece of a**




When out on the lawn


I heard such a clatter


I sprung FROM my piece


To see what was the matter




On top of the house


I saw a big dick


I knew in a moment


It must be Saint Nick




He came down the chimney


Like a bat out of heck


I knew in a moment


The fucker had fell




He filled all our stockings


With pretzels and beer


And a big rubber penis


For my brother the queer




He rose up the chimney


With a thunderous fart


The son of a witch


Blew the chimney apart




He swore and he cursed


As he rode out of sight


Piss on you all


And have a heck of a night!

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Merry Christmas...like a minute before Christmas Day is over.


Hope everyone is doing well!!


Take care.

Literally too... 1 minute.. Geez...

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