Wolfie Posted July 8, 2003 Report Share Posted July 8, 2003 Another email that I got.. This one FROM a rather annoying girl **coughANGELCAKE13cough** Only in America [*]can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. [*]are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. [*]do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. [*]do people ORDER double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. [*]do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. [*]do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. [*]do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call FROM someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. [*]do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. [*]do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. [*]do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while Send the link to this post!!! Copy and paste the following link to people: http://www.dacity.com/cgi-bin/forum/ikonbo...ct=ST;f=1;t=320 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 8, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2003 I wanna get that kind of a pizza delivery. Around here, it's 45mins sometimes, and I know an ambulance could make it here in about 10. style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? It's difficult to position your eyes just right. You wouldn't want that gook in your eyes, would you? *grin* Here's some useless facts for you: It is impossible to lick your elbow.A crocodile can't stick its tongue out. A shrimp's heart is in its head.In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.It is physically impossible for pigs to look up INTO the sky.A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.Horses can't vomit. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.Most lipstick contains fish scales.Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? It's difficult to position your eyes just right. You wouldn't want that gook in your eyes, would you? *grin* Here's some useless facts for you: It is impossible to lick your elbow. ... ... ... Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Shuddup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 lol Didn't work, huh Admin? *grin* style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 If my tongue was only able to reach out another inch, I'm certain I could make my arm manuever in such a way to connect the two... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 ...keep trying. I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later. *grin* style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 Not necessary. If I were to succeed, I'm not sure I'd wanna brag about it. Other than the fact that it would make that little 'fact' invalid and maybe make me famous, I'm not sure I'd want to be famous for a reason like that. style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monopolized Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 You could become rich by writing a book or something. *grin* style_emoticons/default/popc1.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2003 Yeah, '101 Ways to deal with humiliation' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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