SoBeLiz Posted March 12, 2003 Report Share Posted March 12, 2003 If IBM made toasters ... They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. If Microsoft made toasters ... Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters. If Apple made toasters ... It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. If Xerox made toasters ... You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you. If Radio Shack made toasters ... The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster. If Oracle made toasters ... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke. If Sun made toasters ... The toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java. If Hewlett-Packard made toasters ... They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread. If The Rand Corporation made toasters ... It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode about it. If Sony made toasters ... The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt. If Fisher Price made toasters ... "Baby's First Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to toast the bread that pops up like a Jack-in-the-box. If the Franklin Mint made toasters ... Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your authentic hand-crafted Civil War pewter toaster. Does DEC still make toasters?... They made good toasters in '80s, didn't they? If Tandom made toasters ... You could make toast 24 hours a day, and if a piece got burned the toaster would automatically toast you a new one. If Thinking Machine made toasters ... You would be able to toast 64,000 pieces of bread at the same time. If Cray made toasters ... They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world. Cray would claim a worldwide market for Five, may be Six toasters. If the NASA made toasters ... Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NASA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of national security. If Anderson Consulting made toasters ... They would send you 250 consultants, 1 that had actually made toast before and 249 who studied kitchen appliances in general before they graduated last month and had just completed the 1 week AC Master program, to evaluate your current toasting requirements and determine that you could have a custom designer toaster installed and producing toast tailor-made to your toasting specification in 1 year. Two years later 500 consultants would help you celebrate wildly as you produced you first piece of plain toast. http://fool.exler.ru/sm/bud.gif-SoBe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibm4mad Posted January 10, 2004 Report Share Posted January 10, 2004 That was a real creative one... And they're all realistic... especially the HP, Microsoft, and Sony ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 10, 2004 Report Share Posted January 10, 2004 NASA = Need Another Seven Astronauts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 The forum that this topic was originally in has been consolidated. Please disregard any references to old forums that this topic refers to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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