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This is more or less a way to vent some frustration I've pent up inside; however, if anyone has input, relevance, advice, needs to vent as well, or anything else you may want to add, by all means, please do so.


First off, let me EXPLAIN the situation so you may better understand what I'm ranting on about. I only hope I don't confuse anyone:


I met someone four years ago. We dated for three years, however the last year was on and off - we were "at each others throats" all the time when suddenly we'd "make-up" only to end up "at each others throats" again, etc.


During this time, I met someone else. Her name was Shere. I met her through a mutual friend of ours, Tara. Now, Tara had something for me but I only saw her as a friend as I had my hands full already with my "ex", Laura.


The first night I met Shere, I had to have her. Later on, I expressed this to Tara to get a feel of what she may think as she knew her better than I. I remember as if it were yesterday. "Forget it.", Tara said, "She isn't looking for anything, she isn't that way, she just got out of a hurtful relationship, and she doesn't date much anyhow - she's impossible". Needless to say, this didn't stop me FROM atleast trying.


As time went by, Shere and I spent more and more time together. She'd be the first I saw in the morning, the last in the evenings. She had my everything in the palm of her hand.


Now, we never talked about feelings and such but you could tell they were there. Mind you, she's a very tough cookie to crumble.


Having said that, one evening she told me she was going to bed. We said goodnight and she left only to see her again later on. This wasn't like her. My first response (isn't that a commercial? lol Anyhow...): "What's wrong, what's the matter?" "Nothing, I just can't sleep", she responded. After talking to her a bit, I heard the words I've been waiting for in what seemed to be eternity - "I have feelings for you". After that, everything with us went smoothly - with one exception:


The more Laura saw me with Shere, the more and more she tried her best to tear us apart. Eventually, she won. I won't go INTO great detail as to how vicious this breakup was between Laura and I, but let's just say Shere had a lot of patience for me, for us.


After a while, Shere had her last bit of the bickering between Laura and I as, of course, she was the center of it all - she never got involved, though.


Nearly three years later, I decided to look her up, see how she's doing as I never stopped thinking about her.

In between then and now, I'd date a few people here and there to fill the void in my life; however, I always compared them to Shere - that's how I chose who I'd date. I never noticed it, though. I suppose I just didn't pay attention.

Either way, I found her. She was shocked yet very happy to hear FROM me. She wanted to keep in contact.


Now, she knows how I feel about her but she told me it'd probably never happen again. I know she got hurt. I know I was wrong to let Laura get to me like that, to spoil my everything and I've apologized profusely. I've yet to see an acceptance, though. Shere still talks to me, though. I even asked Tara what she thought about everything. She told me, "She'll always like you but she'll never like liking you".


I'm running myself ragged here. There's not a doubt in anyone's mind there's something there. You have to admit, if you can go three years without speaking to one another, suddenly talk again and there's still something there, that doesn't come very often, does it? Since we've started talking again, I haven't been in a relationship - I don't want one. In my eyes, she's the one and I'll wait forever and a day for her, if I have to. And, actually, maybe I'll have to. You see, I love a good challenge and she knows this. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place. HAVING said that, I think she's playing a game with me - keeping me at a distance, making me as "uncomfortable" as she was three years ago. She's a very intelligent lady - I wouldn't be surprised if this were true.


All I can really say, I just want her back. Things would be so much more different now. But, I've always said when I find "the one" I'll give her everything. If she wants my patience and understanding, it's all hers.


I just love her, that's all...



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I know it was a bit long - I apologize. I just felt the need to EXPLAIN certain things. Compared to the actual four years of my life, I think I kept it pretty short. *grin*


I had actually hoped jmukiki would give me her two cents about it all. She seems extremely intelligent and certainly not afraid to say what she thinks.



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Why do you think I associate with her? style_emoticons/default/smile.gif  Not to 'take credit' for anything, but the GROUP I have brought in to try to help this board consists of intelligence.  And I'm sure she will when she gets to this message. style_emoticons/default/smile.gif
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