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A few jokes i found funny :D


rockoncheese101

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On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere.." Written just below it: "I do not."

 

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A blonde and her boyfriend were about to watch a movie on their date. All of a sudden, the blonde pours out the M&M's and starts throwing the brown ones in the trashcan. The boyfriend asks why she is throwing out the brown ones and she says, "I'm allergic to chocolate."

 

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three men were living in one apartment.They had not a dime to their name and only one peice of boloney.They decided that night whoever had the best dream the next morning would be rewarded w/ the boloney.The first man awoke and said he dreamed he had a pot of gold.The next said he dreamed he married a celeb.The next said"YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN A RIDING ON A PONY WHILE U WERE ASLSEEP I ATE THE PEICE OF BOLONEY".

 

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One day, a guy left his friend to take care of his house while he was on vacation. A few days after he leaves, the guy calls and asks for his cat. " Well, he's kinda dead." The guy says,"you should have told me more gently! You should have said he was on the roof, then that you couldn't get him down, and then taht he accidently fell and passed away." so they end the conversation, and a few days later the guy calls again. "How's my mom?" he asks. "Well, she's on the roof..."

 

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A mother was sitting in her garden and her first child went up to her and asked "mom why do i have my name?" and she said "because when i was pregnant with you i was sitting in the garden and a rose fell on my stomach so i named you Rose" so then her other child went up to her and said "mom why do i have my name?" and she said" because i was sitting in the garden and a daisy fell on my stomach so i named you Daisy" so then her other child comes up and said "mom why do i have my name?" and she said "shut up Cynderblock i dont want to talk to you".

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