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Mephisto

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Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue

 

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

 

1. Combatting Stupidity

 

2. You Too Can Do Housework

 

3. Resistance to Beer

 

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

 

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)

 

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am

 

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks")

 

8. You Don't Really Need That Porsche

 

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

 

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong

 

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

 

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

 

13. You, The Weaker Sex

 

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

 

15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb

 

16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please

 

17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat

 

18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies

 

19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost

 

20. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency

 

21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes

 

22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too

 

23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous

 

24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

 

25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

 

26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home

 

27. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary

 

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue

 

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

 

1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag

 

2. You Can Change The Oil Too

 

3. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste

 

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug

 

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas

 

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness

 

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football

 

8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around

 

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop

 

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right

 

11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself

 

12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right

 

13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility

 

14. You, The Whining Sex

 

15. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours

 

16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother

 

17. How To Close The Garage Door

 

18. If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation

 

19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia

 

20. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank

 

21. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation

 

22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself

 

23. Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend

 

24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous

 

25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

 

26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack

 

27. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most

 

28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

 

29. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving

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