Beans.. Beans.. More Beans!

[Pretender]

Enjoy..

 

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion

for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an

embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met

a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would

marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the

marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme

sacrifice and gave up beans.

 

Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his

birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down.

Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her

that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way

home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked

beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk

he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home.

It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and

before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

 

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he

felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed

somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most

wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a

blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the

table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was

beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was

about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again

made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she

went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the

opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was

not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time

breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about

him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came

on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel

engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he

tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would

dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon

winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a

minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

 

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells

he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top

of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when

his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if

he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not

peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

 

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated

around the table for his surprise birthday party.

[SweetPea]

This one's a classic! I love it!